Matthew, from Ottawa, ON, Canada, joined the Human Library in September 2020 after an acquaintance had posted about the organization on social media. The slogan, unjudge someone, spoke to Matthew, who already loves public speaking and believes in showing people that everybody has something they’ve struggled with. “I thought, this is so everything that I’m about, and the more I learned about it, the more I thought, OK, I want to do this too.”

He regularly publishes online with two different topics – Disabled and gay.

Matthew’s Journey

Joining in the Covid year of 2020, the online version of the Human Library fit perfectly into Matthew’s life. “
I’m housebound at the moment, so I haven’t gone anywhere in a couple of years.” he says, “That’s one of the biggest things that drew me to the Human Library, that you could do it at home.
 But I hope to someday do an in-person event.”

It is Matthew’s mixture of physical and neurodevelopmental disabilities that keep him at home in Ottawa, something he often talks about when publishing his “Disabled” book.

“I’m autistic, and I have some learning disabilities. I also have really extreme sensory overload and a lot of anxiety, so that’s why I have a hard time going out. 
And then I also have a chronic condition called polycythemia, which is where my body makes too much haemoglobin and too many red blood cells.” Matthew explains during our hour-long video call interview. Polycythemia is a chronic blood disease, requiring weekly draining of the blood and replacing it with IV fluids – Something Matthew has had to learn to do on his own at home. “Unless I want to pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars a week, nobody in Canada can come to my house and do it. 
And the scary thing is that you die of a giant blood clot in your body without that treatment.”

Matthew’s readers have the opportunity to learn how the intersection between neurodevelopmental differences and physical disabilities creates serious roadblocks in receiving treatment for either. “I’m intensively trying to develop the ability to go out and do things, but it’s very slow-moving. I’d be making more progress with the sensory issues and the nervousness about going out
if I had a more stable foundation to work from, I think it would make a huge difference.”

Coming out, Family and Unforeseen Acceptance

His other topic, gay, is also frequently published online and naturally leads to some very different questions. “It’s a lot of questions about my family. Were they accepting or supportive? What were they like? 
I had a tough childhood, but none of it had to do with my family. My home life was better than anybody else that I know to be totally honest. 
But my school life and everything else was the hard part.” he shares. 

While his parents and siblings were unsurprised by Matthew coming out at age 16, he often shares a story of his grandmother during readings. “No one wanted to tell my grandmother because she was French Canadian, from a small town in New Brunswick, where she wasn’t even allowed to talk to anybody who wasn’t Catholic,” he says, explaining how his grandmother once told Matthew’s mother that there was a nice girl for him at her bingo nights. “And my mom said, I don’t think he wants to meet a nice girl from the bingo. And then my grandmother said, oh, does he want to meet a nice boy from the bingo? And my mom said, yeah, I think he’d much rather do that instead.”

His grandmother’s reaction was strong – but unexpected – “My grandmother lost her mind and started yelling at my mom. 
But she was yelling, ‘you better love him’, ‘that’s the way God made him’, ‘if you won’t accept him, he can come be gay at my house and live with me’. She was just amazing, and nobody saw that coming.”

Discovering Acceptance and Community in the Human Library

Acceptance, support and community are some of the things that Matthew has found within the Human Library. He tells a story of the first time he came to this realization, triggered by going into an event on a tough day. “I was having a really bad, overwhelming sensory overload day, and I thought, I just need to look OK. And then this thought popped into my head
that was like, no, you don’t. You’re here to be yourself. If you freak out, it’s gonna be all right. These are the kind of people you can be like this around.
 I just started feeling like I’m going to bawl my eyes out because of this feeling of not having to pretend to have it all together or to be OK.”

He smiles brightly through the video call, obviously touched by retelling this realization, which was followed up one year later when Matthew experienced going into a panic attack during a reading. “I remember making it through the end of that, going into the break room and expecting the librarians to say, you’ve got to do it anyway because that’s what my life has always been. 
But they said, do you want to leave? Can we get you anything? 
Do you want to talk to the therapist? 
Is there anything we can do?” he shares, “I just needed a minute to calm down, then went and did the second reading. Afterwards, three of the session organizers wrote me to make sure I was OK, and that was probably the most amazing feeling ever, it was just this real acceptance.”

“To get to experience that level of acceptance in a really hard moment and at an internal level within the Human Library was amazing because it showed that actually, this model and this slogan, it comes from the core and radiates out”, Matthew says.

We are looking for more Books to join our Bookshelf! Apply to become an open Book.

Dwelve into the story of our previous Book of the Month: Amputee.

The post Book of the Month: Disabled and Gay appeared first on The Human Library Organization.

Our Human Library Book of the Month is a series of portraits of our books created with the purpose of offering our readers a chance to understand the diversity and variety within our bookshelf around the world.  It also provides unique insights into the motivations and values of being a book and volunteering for our organization.

The two girls simply burst into tears, when Mauro Scopelliti started talking about his life at The Human Library event. The girls said they felt very fortunate compared to him.  

“Then I said: ‘I am lucky, too’.”

Mauro can’t help laughing when telling this story. Its made a huge impact on him, because he can make people feel his life through his story. And because he feels very fortunate.

“People wonder how I can be so easy-going, but I was brought up to see the world this way,” Mauro says.

Child of a disabled parent

Growing up with a mother with a disability and adversity in life, 32-year-old Mauro has been raised to be a strong person with a positive mind, standing up for who he is. When he first came out as gay, his upbringing was a big help.

“My attitude towards diversity comes from my mother. She grew up with Polio and doesn’t walk very well. When my mother and father met, his parents did not approve of their relationship, because of her disability. I was taught from an early age that being different from others can help you and be used in a positive way,” he says.

Mauro was also born with health issues and had to be operated in the spine, when he was 15 years old. At first his mother was very upset about this, but later she accepted it and realized that this was not the end. 

“All problems are usually small problems, when you look at it. It is just an experience of human life,” Mauro says.

Readers bring reflection

Book of the Month Mauro from Florence.

One time a reader had asked him, why he did not mention his father more during the conversation.

“That made me think a lot about my father, and how he also influences me. That question somehow taught me an important lesson, and I have started mentioning my father more often,” Mauro says.

He feels that The Human Library works in two ways: Both the readers and the books get to know each other and themselves better and the meeting provides room for all parties to reflect.

Mauro first came across The Human Library in Florence four years ago, when the concept was introduced at an NGO, he was volunteering for.

“I have fallen in love with The Human Library, because the key to ending discrimination is exactly this: Meeting and talking to each other,” Mauro says.

Gay and a catholic scout

He has been published 9-10 times with the title “Gay Power”. One of the many experiences he shares with his readers is about his time with his boyfriend as scout leaders in a catholic association. Sometimes people don’t understand how that can be possible: Being gay and in charge of scouts in a traditional catholic setting.

“It is not the same everywhere. But the attitude towards gays has changed a lot in recent years – even within the catholic church it has changed radically in the last years,” Mauro says.

But already in his youth the church accepted his volunteering as a scout leader.

Working with The Human Library also changes him, he feels.

“We help each other change our lives and understanding each other better,” he says.

That is his main message:

“Diversity is good, and it can make your life better. And of course, we are all interconnected. We all have a lot of things in common, and The Human Library help us to see that very clearly.”

For an opportunity to read Mauro in more detail or many of the other great editions we publish, follow the Human Library Toscana here.

The post Book of the month: Gay power in Florence appeared first on The Human Library Organization.

Our Human Library Book of the Month is a series of portraits of our books from around the world. The portraits are created to offer our readers a chance to understand the diversity and variety on our bookshelves. It also provides unique insights into the motivations and values of the thousands of volunteers that are published each year.

Interior designer by day, sex worker by night

Nitin is not ashamed of who he is, or how he lives. He wants to talk to his readers at the Human Library about his amazing life as an interior designer at day and a sex worker at night. He hopes that by sharing his experiences, he can help change attitudes among readers.

Meet our Human Library Book of the Month for March 2019. 22-year-old Nitin has already been published three times since he joined the Human Library book depot in Mumbai in the fall of 2018.

His topic on the bookshelf is “Sexworker” or “Escorting life” as he prefers to call it. He enjoys to share with his readers, how he combines a daytime job as an interior designer with a night time job as a gay escort.

Thought something was wrong

“I get a lot of different questions,” he says.

They range from: Who are your friends? What are your goals for the future? How do you date? To: How do you make sure that your clients are safe? And how do you get in contact and meet with them?

“I grew up dyslexic in a normal Indian school system in Dharavi. I did not grow up rich. I thought something was wrong with me, until I was out of school,” Nitin says.

But nothing was wrong with Nitin, and instead of giving up his hopes he started working hard to get to where he is today.

One thing is being gay

In September 2018, gays in India celebrated after the country’s Supreme Court decriminalized homosexuality. Though this was an important breakthrough for homosexuals in the country, it doesn’t mean that homosexuals are free.

“I don’t think that something is wrong with me. Escorting should not be a taboo,” he says.

“I really am happy to have been selected as a book, because I feel that my challenge is to help change that taboo.”

Sharing makes Nitin stronger

In Nitin’s opinion the Human Library plays a significant role.

“It’s the only platform, where people are asked not to judge. That is so important,” he says.

One day in the Human Library he shared his personal story that also includes his chapter on sexual abuse, from when he was a child.

“A girl in the group of readers started crying and told us that she had also been abused as a child. It was such a touching moment, we cried, and my heart beat really fast. She spoke up about her experiences. Whatever happened was not right, and she could walk away with confidence, knowing that it was not right, and that it has happened to other people, too. Nothing will change if we don’t speak up. That is why the Human Library is so important. I am proud to be part of it.”

Follow the work of the Human Library in Mumbai here for an opportunity to borrow Nitin and many more.

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